Spinning: "Dare You To Move" - Switchfoot

Ever wonder y your life is dull and not colourful? One question I have been asking myself lately. Feeling that my life is not as colourful as it used to be. Its used to be the colours of the rainbows but it seems like with each passing days and months, time has robbed me of all these beautiful colours. Not to mention, it seems like my life is greying like the hair on my head, its shedding as the day passes me like the wind.

Used to remember, back in the greener days, I was always surrounded by this band of light which is called love from friends. But as time passes, you will tend to lose a few of them and pick up new ones so it ain't literally that bad at all. But to lose them is really a real pity. Remembered how much effort and time u spent to get to know them but the lifespans u have with them is just like a flower. Friendship starts to blossom and thats when the friendship is on the peak but just when you don't put in extra time and effort to take care of it, the petals starts to rot and decay. And thats when everything is all being washed down the drain.

For me, I never thought it was a problem because these are just stages of life.

I lost friends when i gradually grew from one stage to another. I lost a few good primary sch friends when I move on to my secondary school years. Then i start to lose another one cause of seldom contacts but made steadfast improvements to try to patch all these loopholes in the friendship. And thus we ended up being best buddy. Talking craps and on the phone was one past hobby. Bitching bout' stuffs like family, friends, school etc. Those were the glory days. But sadly things are alot different right now.

Secondary school days were the brightest days which one could really yearn for. You make loads of friends and you tend to take extra care of all these friends you made. You choose the friends you want and made a pact to stay together. Its the only time and day that you wish to go to school to be with them. Reason being that you have started to grow up and learning to appreciate the things that they done for you and the various roads that are paved for you. You feel love, you feel wanted and there's nothing to stop you from enjoyings all these perks.

I brave through and withstand every rain and shine to have them and I am not going to lose them but seems like I am deny of all these privillages. Wondering to myself, what have I done to deserve this?

Friends have branch out to the options that were laid in front of them. Those who had left for good had really left for good. Those who had decided to branch out to a new territories have embark a new path for themselves. Those who chose to remain here seems to me have gone with the wind. What are left behind by them them are just specks of dust and ashes awaiting you to collect. That is the only remains you have of them.

Been doing alot of soul searching, and I realised in the midst of poly life, I have lost quite a number of friends in my life. They may only be a handful but the impact that they could in your life is just as great as anyone could imagine. The solitude of being alone and the awkwardness when you guys decided to meet up again.

Decided not to step into this dreaded path again. If I were to put to such test again, the only thing and solution to do is to enjoy the time you had with them and reminisce the happy moments I had with them.


| N a m e C r u i s e d A t 6/24/2005 08:15:00 PM |