Spinning: "Crazy" - Alanis Morissette

Okie, get this queasy feeling whenever I watched Korean drama...it just well brings me back to the past. Tears would start to surge and seriously, memories just starts to pour back.
Time would seem to stop at this certain time and point. Sept-Oct is the month. Yes thats the month. Okie its almost close to 2 months already but y am I still thinking about it. I have finally put an end to it already. I tried and I did my best. And I tot I succeeded. Is it because of these 2 people that create an influence on me on how happy they are together? Okie, I am resenting now. Life is pretty much so unfair but this is how life is. Y is it that I must work? It takes up most of my time back then. Was that part of the reason that such an ugly end happened? I really have no idea. I dun wanna work anymore but if I dun work, who's gonna support me? Not that I am living a lavish life but no one is providing me the life every child dreams of. I think I m one of the few special kids that do not get allowances for clothes, transport, entertainment etc that is like outside of sch. Now TEP is like killing me. I dun get to earn as much as before. Moreover, TEP makes me spend like almost 10bucks a day on food and snacks. I dun like it. I hate it. I dun like leadin this kind of "made for people to think" lavish life. I feel like I am just labelled as a rich kid by others but they dun even know how this whole entire household works. I have not even got the chance to actually travel out of Singapore to think bout the chronicles of my life like u did. Be it going to KL for a short time, at least it helps u to think bout what actually happen. I also nid my short trip. Im just going crazy thinking bout all these right now. Its late, its killing me. Being confine in this dark circle is really blinding me right now. I know I am happy by mself but the solitude is also killin me. I hate myself for thinking this way and acting this way. Well it would b nice if my xmas present this yr would be an angel to lift my sorrows. Haiz..but aint gonna think too much cos it might never happen. Have to be slapped on the face and wake up to reality the next morning. So just bloggin away to help myself. This is part of me that I dun wanna forget about. My true feelings...
But anyway, I finally got 3 kind souls who would get me Xmas presents. Haha...evil me but for now at least my wish list is shortened. Miss XXX is giving me a pencil box (time for a change since I have been using the current one since Sec School), Mr Yaz wanna sponsor 2/3 of the cost for my Crumpler Bag and Mr Winston also wanna sponsor me 100bucks for my Crumpler Bag. Haha...Should I get 2 Crumplers or should I just get one and used the rest of the money to get sth else? Haha...Tell me...give me some ideas folk...


| N a m e C r u i s e d A t 12/11/2005 03:30:00 AM |